Relationship Shifts After Discovery

Burnout can hit hard for late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adults, especially when the energy cost of masking becomes too much to bear. Dropping the mask and stepping into authenticity brings both relief and upheaval, raising new challenges that aren’t always easy to navigate alone.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the intricate relationship between masking, unmasking, and Autistic burnout. They use vivid metaphors and real-life examples to depict how masking acts as a bridge to burnout city, discuss the destabilizing yet liberating process of unmasking, and share personal stories of re-discovering their bodies, needs, and boundaries after years of suppressing them. They also offer practical suggestions for finding moments of authentic self-expression, especially when safety and acceptance aren't always possible.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain a clear, relatable understanding of how masking—often invisible to even ourselves—contributes to burnout and why unmasking can feel disorienting but ultimately healing.
2. Hear honest stories from Patrick and Megan Anna about the messy realities and sometimes victories of post-discovery life, including changes in relationships, energy management, and self-acceptance.
3. Learn small, actionable strategies for unmasking safely, rebuilding trust in your body, and advocating for your needs, even if it’s just a few minutes each day.

If you’ve been struggling with burnout or questioning why life feels harder after discovering you’re Autistic or ADHD, this episode offers validation, insight, and gentle guidance through the journey.

Resources

• Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Masking Workbook: neurodivergentinsights.com/autistic-masking
• Neurodivergent Insights Resource on Autistic Burnout: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources
• The Autistic Burnout Workbook by Dr. Megan Anna Neff: simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062
• Check out Neurodivergent Insights’ Library of Boundary Scripts (free resource)

Divergent Conversations Podcast Episodes:

• Episode 2: Autistic Burnout (divergentpod.com/2)
• Episode 47: Autistic Burnout (Part 2): A Deep Dive Into The Diversity of Burnout (divergentpod.com/47)

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Thanks to Our Sponsor: Landmark College & Jane

✨ Landmark College:

Landmark College is the world's first accredited college designed exclusively for students who learn differently. Landmark, located in Putney, Vermont, offers courses in person and online, awarding associate and bachelor's degrees, and offering pre-college, gap year, and professional development programs  for educators who work with neurodivergent students. With a student-to-faculty ratio of just 7 to 1, and the renowned Landmark College Institute for Research and Training, Landmark offers personalized and research-informed support for neurodivergent students that is not available at traditional colleges. Enrollment is still open for Fall 2025. Learn more about this opportunity at landmark.edu.

✨ Jane:

Jane is a practice management software and EMR that helps you balance caring for clients while growing your business. Co-founded by a multidisciplinary clinic owner and a developer with an eye for design, it’s built to fit the way that you work, supporting your practice as it grows and evolves. 

Jane helps with day-to-day admin, like scheduling, documentation, and billing, so you can stay focused on the care you give. Jane was built with clients in mind, too. With online booking and secure online appointments (telehealth), your care stays accessible and easy to keep up with.

To learn more about Jane, book a demo for a one-on-one, no-pressure chat with a lovely member of their team. Or, if you’re ready to sign up, enjoy a 2-month grace period on your new account with code DCPOD.

Sign up here: janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/divergentconversations

✨ Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Burnout Resources

If you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

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💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground

Divergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com

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Mentioned in this episode:

Landmark College

Landmark College is the world's first accredited college designed exclusively for students who learn differently. Landmark, located in Putney, Vermont, offers courses in person and online, awarding associate and bachelor's degrees, and offering pre-college, gap year, and professional development programs  for educators who work with neurodivergent students. With a student-to-faculty ratio of just 7 to 1, and the renowned Landmark College Institute for Research and Training, Landmark offers personalized and research-informed support for neurodivergent students that is not available at traditional colleges. Enrollment is still open for Fall 2025. Learn more about this opportunity at landmark.edu.

Learn More About Landmark College

Jane

Jane is a clinic management software and EMR designed to be an extra set of helping hands in your health and wellness business. Available online and on any device, Jane has branded online booking, scheduling, insurance billing, customizable documentation templates and online forms, integrated payments, telehealth, and more — wrapped up in one beautiful package that even your patients/clients will love. Backed by our unlimited human support available by phone, email, and chat (even on Saturdays!), Jane is here to help you get back to the work you love. Get 2 months off new Jane subscriptions when you use code DCPOD at signup. Visit: https://janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/divergentconversations

Neurodivergent Insights' Autistic Burnout Resources

If you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources