Chunky Bear Week

The Chunkyist Bear in Alaska has been elected after some tampering with the polls. The voting results were announced on Fat Bear Tuesday, which is the name of a controversial new night at my local gay bar. Dubbed 747 weighing in at a hefty 635 kilograms. Officials detected 9,000 sudden spam votes for 747's semifinal opponent 435 Holly. But to his credit, he did really well in the swimsuit section. They're very fat bears, Alice, you see. And they're f***ing massive shits because these are some massive fat bears.