Many of us are focused on what I want the other person to do or how I want them to change. Slow down, really reflect on what's motivating our position and focus on where we're at. Do you have suggestions for ways for structuring constructive or critical feedback? One model that I've used in the executive education is called the air feedback model.
Being a better listener has a lot to do with silence, says Collins Dobbs, a lecturer in management at Stanford Graduate School of Business. “A lot of people are uncomfortable with the smallest modicum of silence, but learning often happens when we create distance for useful reflection.”
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Dobbs talks with host Matt Abrahams about the importance of “space, pace, and grace” when you’re receiving others’ feedback and handling the emotions that come out during tough discussions.
“There’s often a lot more focus on the skill set on delivering emotion than receiving emotion, but if the receiver of emotion can put themselves in a place of curiosity, agency, and openness … it opens up a whole new world of possibilities.”
Dobbs is an executive coach and teaches several courses, including Interpersonal Dynamics and Leadership Labs.
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