Being a parent is part of your identity, but you must avoid identifying your kid success or lack of success with yourself. Love them the same, always, no matter what happens or how things go. The philosopher stillpoe had a daughter who had a bad reputation and his reply was worthy of sharing. He said: "She is no more a disgrace to me than i am an honour to her" If they mess up, it's because they messed up. Doesn't say you're a bad parent because it's not fair to you or them. Let the mistake be a mistake, nothing more, nothing less.