Soad: How often do we project longings on someone, as opposed to something that we should be doing or feeling? Soad: It's actually, i think, probably less common to have a kind of epiphany moment. The way i did that, all she had to do was ask that one question and i was loke, oh, the you know, the skies have parted. And now i see more often, we probably come to it more gradually or in retrospect.