Are You Not Having Sex?

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I think I think 40 year old Virgin is a really good example of the actual state of play, right? For like, people that don't want to have sex, the kind of pressure that they feel is like everybody's like, are you having, why are you not having sex? You should be having sex. Here's how you have sex. We can get sex for you. And yeah, it's a pretty intense environment. It's one of those things that we also normalise. Like, I think we expect that from boys. We expect them to make dirty jokes and say rude things and be watching, sending around bad stuff on their phones. And consent is just about.

In this episode, Hannah is joined by Ben Hurst, who is an activist, educator, and the head of facilitation and training at Beyond Equality. Ben discusses dismantling concepts of masculinity and combating misogyny in his work with boys in schools, starting with his own journey getting into this line of work. He and Hannah talk about the pressure on young boys from their peers to be interested in sex, how he helps them deconstructs messages they might have learned from porn, and the problems with teaching boys that consent is something they should get rather than something for them to give as well. Finally, Ben gives advice on dealing with loved ones who still have misogynistic values, shares tips for teachers leading sex education classes with boys, and Hannah and Ben discuss how to help men understand that misogyny harms men too.

CW: brief mention of suicide

✨MORE ABOUT BEN HURST✨

Ben Hurst (he/him) is an activist, educator, host, presenter, podcaster, model, public speaker and the Head of Facilitation and Training at Beyond Equality (formerly The Good Lad Initiative), a UK based organisation that engages men and boys in the gender equality conversation across Schools, Universities and Corporate spaces, rethinking masculinities and promoting positive personhood and healthy relationships. Ben discusses these topics online, most notably in his TEDx Talk, ‘Boys won’t be boys. Boys will be what we teach them to be’, and in print, with features in Glamour and Stylist magazine, Postscript, Positive News and many more. Ben's work focuses on dismantling the gendered stereotypes that men inhabit and encouraging them to explore their own relationships to masculinity.

Ben is also a freelance DEI consultant and trainer for a bunch of organisations he's not allowed to mention because he signed too many NDA's without reading them first, including but not limited to; UNHCR, Virgin, Sky, Travers Smith and Soho House, and he is the co host of TED x London’s Climate Curious podcast *which is really good* and explores the current climate crisis. Ben’s focus is on making important conversations accessible for young people and adults from all walks of life

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/therealbenhurst
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealbenhurst/
- Beyond Equality: https://www.beyondequality.org/

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