Too much of a good thing can sometimes be bad for us. When independence goes too far, perhaps due to a trauma response or early learning experiences, we have what we also call counter-dependency. It's more than just self-reliance, it's this unwavering insistence on autonomy. Hyper-independence is not a diagnosable mental health condition. More often than not, triggered by exposure to ongoing or acute distress and some kind of emotionally charged situation.
Independence is highly regarded as an admirable personality trait - we are obsessed with people who are self made, who solo travel, pay their own bills and don't seem to need anyone. However, our sense of independence can become problematic when we approach the point of hyper-independency. Hyper-independence refers to an excessive sense of self sufficiency and self reliance, in which we deny the help of others, prefer doing things on our own and avoid emotional vulnerability. Researchers have since suggested that this kind of behaviour may actually be a trauma response, whereby we push others away to protect ourselves from being hurt due to past experiences. In today's episode we break down the psychology of hyper-independence, specifically its origins in childhood emotional neglect and being forced to grow up too soon. We examine the major indicators of hyper-independence, the links to codependency, as well as the consequences this can have for our love lives and careers, whilst also exploring how we can heal. Listen now.
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