The 'Demon' Crisis and Surrender

After many months of baby-induced ego death, I’m excited to finally kick off a new season of the pod with someone who has profoundly shaped my spiritual life: Michael Taft.

We sat down for a wide-ranging conversation that spans enlightened wizards, psychedelic dismemberment, and the very practical art of recognizing awake awareness in the midst of daily life. I’m delighted to share this one with you—it might be my favorite to date.

Michael Taft is a longtime meditation teacher and author whose work integrates nondual wisdom traditions, classical Tantra, and modern neuroscience. He’s the host of the Deconstructing Yourself podcast, and he has guided thousands of practitioners into deeper recognition through his Dharma talks, guided meditations, and retreats. Before teaching full-time, he spent decades training with masters in Hindu and Buddhist lineages— including time living in India—and became one of Shinzen Young’s most prominent students.

Before meeting Michael, I’d been practicing about as seriously as one can outside a monastery—fully committed to the spiritual path, with all the neuroses that come with it. His teaching helped my system relax in a way I didn’t realize was possible and seems to have flipped what has been an irreversible switch. Since then I’ve dove into his retreats and teachings, and I regularly send his guided meditations to friends and clients… and the ones who stick with it reliably have awakening experiences and sustained insight. Not many teachers can produce that kind of result.

What continues to impress me most is his teaching style: relaxed, emotionally friendly, grounded, precise, funny, and—when needed —sharp enough to cut through the b******t. He’s a teacher who can help you go all the way in awakening, not just taste it.

You can feel that in this conversation. Toward the end, he guides us through a direct, real-time glimpse of what he calls Nondual 2—the shift from transcending the world to waking up in the world, and why so many people unknowingly stop halfway on the path.

In this episode, expect to learn more about:

•How a soul-annihilation psychedelic experience in the mountains of Japan catalyzed his initial awakening

• Why he refused to teach for years, and what ultimately shifted his perspective

• How he trained with “enlightened wizards” in India, and how those experiences shaped his humble, anti-guru approach

• Nondual 1 vs. Nondual 2: why awakening often stops at “no separation,” and the deeper realization of everyday life as the sacred display of awareness

• Why later Buddhist and Tantric traditions resonate more for him — embracing emotion, energy, and daily life rather than trying to shut them down

• How to recognize awake awareness on demand in the middle of ordinary life

• The unseen pitfalls of highly altered-state retreats — and why he designs retreats for stability and integration

• How to build confidence in awakening through direct recognition rather than belief or attainment-chasing

• Why he believes awakening is ultimately about God, death, and not missing the point of being alive

If you’re new to Michael’s work, I highly recommend exploring his vast library of free meditations and talks on his YouTube channel.

Start with his beginner nondual series: do the full sit, then listen to the dharma talk and Q&A later in the day to help integrate the insight. After that, move on to this nondual series or simply start following his weekly sits at the Alembic.

Do this for 30 days and let me know what you notice.

Hosted by Alex Olshonsky

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