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I Wanted It but I Was Not Ready
I wanted it but I was working on my intimacy issues and so like we could do it and what we mean. And though she stated that she wanted all of these things I was actually a perfect partner with her because I never created the opportunity for it at a deeper and deeper level. That created in her now it was on her and now the hold up was her except we never acknowledged it. She would show up physically, but not as herself you know like she would show up partially and like I didn't want that experience but what I do deeply want was to be with her. It's been unlocking in my life in a lot of ways in that I'm what had stopped me from wanting