The Importance of Reflective Emotions in Relationships

Picture the immense amount of energy invested in analyzing your emotional responses to every social interaction, striving to decipher not only your own feelings but also how the other person perceived the conversation. Or imagine navigating through life with a constant undercurrent of irritability and anxiety, yet lacking a clear understanding of their origin.

These experiences only represent a small fraction of what people with alexithymia may experience.

Alexithymia, which in simple terms is difficulty identifying and describing emotions, is a trait that is often associated with autism and ADHD, however despite the fact that one-in-ten people in the general population have this trait (not just Autistic people), there are still many misconceptions about what it is, who it really impacts, and how it shapes their experiences and relationships.

Dr. Megan Anna Neff, an AuDHD psychologist with alexithymia, states that a lot of things that have been attributed to autism, for example, difficulty with emotion recognition on faces or voice, are actually due to alexithymia, not autism. 

In this episode of Divergent Conversations, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, talk with guest, Thomas Henley, an Autism consultant, public speaker, workplace trainer, and podcast host of “Thoughty Auti Podcast”, about all things alexithymia.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Understand what alexithymia is, how is it related to autism and ADHD, and some common attributes associated with autism that are strongly linked to alexithymia.
2. Identify the ways that alexithymia affects emotional regulation and the ability to connect with others on a deep emotional level.
3. Learn what strategies and therapeutic approaches individuals with alexithymia can use to help facilitate emotional regulation and deeper connections with others.

Alexithymia affects many individuals in the general population, so taking the time to recognize and understand the traits, challenges, and experiences associated with alexithymia, can help facilitate deeper connections with others, self-acceptance, and healthy ways to manage overwhelming emotions and situations.

Alexithymia Resources

• Alexithymia articles on neurodivergent insights: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/category/Alexithymia
• Alexithymia workbook: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/alexithymia-workbook
• Dr. Neff’s Alexithimia Training: https://learn.therasmarts.com/courses/Alexithymia

More about our guest, Thomas Henley:

My name is Thomas Henley, I’m an Autism consultant, public speaker and workplace trainer running the Worlds Top podcast ‘Thoughty Auti Podcast’, all about Autism & Mental Health - independently presented, edited and promoted by my Autistic self.

I’m also a Commonwealth/British champion in Taekwondo, Biomedical Sciences (Hons) graduate from UoM, Autistic Model, documentary creator of ‘Aspergers In Society’ & ambassador for Anna Kennedy OBE & Born Anxious.

I was diagnosed Autistic at 10 years old and later developed severe mental health conditions at the age of 14 due to trauma at Secondary School - Clinical Depression, GAD, Bulimia & multiple Dissociative disorders.

Most of my content focuses around the low quality-of-life statistics for autistic people, such as mental health, social isolation, unemployment, education, relationship difficulties & self-harm in all forms. I’ve delivered this information to the government, leaders in SEN education, and the general public through my outreach and social media work.

My passion is to help people, it’s my meaning to life, my saviour for helping me stay around. My ultimate goal is to improve things for future generations who may just experience the same awful things I have. 

My content is informed from many angles. During my time at university, I also studied and researched into Autism, Mental Health, Sociology, Psychology, Socialising, Relationships & Philosophy. I also used to be Special Needs TA, I work alongside charities regularly, talk to researchers, Autistic influencers, authors & parents regularly on my podcast, and currently work full-time for a National Inclusion charity.

Check out Thomas’ resources and content:

• Thomas’ Website: https://thomashenley.co.uk/
• Thoughty Auti Podcast (Spotify): https://open.spotify.com/show/6vjXgCB7Q3FwtQ2YqPjnEV?si=BjFjTN9RRm-mG5r4kmxmVQ 
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThomasHenleyUK 
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ThomasHenley 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomashenleyuk/ 
• TikTok (@thomashenleyuk): https://www.tiktok.com/@thomashenleyuk

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✨ The Autistic Burnout Workbook:

I'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout.

• Use the following link to grab this offer: neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64
• After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062

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💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground

Divergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com

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Mentioned in this episode:

The Autistic Burnout Workbook

I'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout. Use the following link to grab this offer: https://neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64 After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062