Overcoming Insecurity: My path to finally feeling confident as a Dominant man
Dom Sub Devotion
Navigating Insecurity and Validation
This chapter explores a personal journey grappling with insecurity and the quest for external validation. It recounts experiences from college, revealing how the pursuit of identity and societal approval led to superficial connections and a fragile sense of self. The narrative culminates in a poignant realization of the importance of self-acceptance and authenticity in relationships.
I recorded this episode for the men who listen, and who struggle with insecurity.
I feel you.
I’ve been on a decade long journey of trying to find some sense of honest, solid self confidence. I wasn’t born as the man you see here. I’ve had to fight every demon I had to be where I am. I have had to let go of everything that wasn’t aligned.
There’s not much left of my life as it was a decade ago. But in reality, most of the life I built up to that point wasn’t me trying to be me…it was me trying to be liked, valued, and lovable in other people’s eyes. And everything that wasn’t real had to go away.
How could I love myself when I was only trying to be some fake persona that people would like? I needed their validation to feel like I had any value as a man. But when I was being a false version of me, any love they did give me was for that fake self. So I kept myself separated from being loved…and in a place where I could only, ever, feel insecure.
I was a social outcast in school. I was terrified of losing love. I was desperately needy, especially when it came to my girlfriends, and even with Dawn. I was 85 pounds heavier than I am now.
I lived out what Thoreau called the “life of quiet desperation”. And I couldn’t tolerate it.
I’m sharing more of my back story and my less than flattering moments in this episode to hopefully help you realize that we really can find a better life. A stronger sense of self. An honest feeling of self worth.
But it’s not an overnight process, as much as I wish it was.
My hope is that in listening to this episode, you can start to find some acceptance for yourself in where you’re at. Then make the commitment to yourself to unwind the inauthentic ways that you’re living and to slowly, progressively close the gap between your true self and the persona that you’ve adopted.
Because that’s the only way to overcome insecurity and truly feel Dominant.
If you want any help with this, I share my own step by step process in my course Becoming a Dominant Man. Check it out here: https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man-1
Enjoy!
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Andrew & Dawn are full time coaches and educators, working to support individuals and couples in building healthy, loving Dom/sub relationships. Here are some of the different free and paid options of how to work with and learn from us! Subscribe: Get updates when we publish new episodes of Dom Sub Devotion and other new content at https://www.infinitedevotion.com/podcastsubscribe
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Free Resources:
FREE: The 12 Steps to Dominance: A free ebook showing men how to embody a healthy, loving Dominance. Download here: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance
FREE: Inspiring Her Submission Masterclass: A deep dive on how to inspire any woman to submit and surrender to you. Watch here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-masterclass
FREE: Devotional Dominance & Submission: A free ebook showing you how D/s dynamics and loving long term relationships work hand in hand. https://infinitedevotion.com/devotional-ds
FREE: Get Dawn's Manifesto: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman. Click here to download it now! https://www.infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman
Listen to Andrew's other podcast, Conscious Dominance! Conscious Dominance is a weekly conversation between two Dominant men as we navigate the demands and growth that are required of us in living in and leading inside of 24/7 Dom/sub relationships. These are deep conversations that go straight to the true heart of a Dominant man. Find Conscious Dominance at https://conscious-dominance.captivate.fm/ or on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere else you like to listen!
Becoming a Dominant Man is Andrew's flagship course for Dominant Men. Becoming a Dominant Man leads men through a 12 step process, the 12 Steps to Dominance, to claim full ownership of their lives and their inner strength, so that they can carry a loving strength, true Dominance, into their lives and relationships. Becoming a Dominant Man is a pre-recorded course that men can work through on their own time, but also includes live weekly instruction and Q&A with Andrew at no extra cost. Learn more about Becoming a Dominant Man at https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man
Our newest course for submissive women is available NOW. Submissive Foundations teaches women how to embody submission from a healthy emotional inner strength. Click the link to learn more! https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations
00:00 Introduction to Dom Sub Devotion
00:33 Personal Growth Journey
01:41 Facing Insecurity
05:42 Childhood Sensitivity
11:29 High School Struggles
21:29 College and Early Relationships
34:37 Facing Insecurity and Realization
35:11 Turning Point in the Relationship
37:58 A Decade of Self-Discovery
43:36 Clearing Out the Old Self
46:39 Struggles with Identity and Health
50:30 Embracing Brutal Honesty and Compassion
53:50 The Journey to Authenticity
56:06 Advice for Men on Overcoming Insecurity
01:06:11 Gratitude and Acknowledgment
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