17min chapter

DARK - A Companion To The Netflix TV Series cover image

Where or When is Mikkel?

DARK - A Companion To The Netflix TV Series

CHAPTER

Reflections on a Challenging Move

The speaker reflects on a period in their life when they were 12 years old, discussing their family's sudden move from Japan, their parents' divorce, and the hardships they faced during their first winter in their new location. They express a desire to go back in time and provide comfort to their younger self, while acknowledging that their experiences shaped who they are today.

00:00
Speaker 2
Like you're going to get through everything. Okay. And maybe get some therapy because parents don't understand like that. That's a really good thing to have and whatnot. But then when I had a second to let my brain catch up, definitely I should go back to when I was 12. I was very specific age. It's when everything kind of sort of changed in my life, like we had just abruptly moved from Japan and my parents didn't really know how to tell us we were moving. So it was just like one day we're moving. And so, you know, that happened. And then my parents were also going through a horrific divorce and yeah, it was like we that first winter. So I'd never seen snow before in that first winter. We didn't have heat in our apartment and it or the house that we were renting. It was just like, it was really crazy and rough and wild and weird. And I just would love to go back in time and just have a conversation with that little girl and be like, hey, you know, how are you feeling because I don't think anybody asked me that. And I just kind of be like, it's going to be okay and it's okay to feel weird. Like you feel really lost right now and that's okay. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's probably what I do. Yeah.
Speaker 3
I would necessarily change so much. I
Speaker 4
wouldn't change
Speaker 2
anything because it's who, you know, it's the same Jonas thing. Like everything that happened to you is going to make you who you are. And I don't want to not exist. Current PB doesn't want to not exist because, you know, everything that happened to me made me who I am. And I'm grateful for that. But I also would, you know, like to just maybe just have a conversation. I think it would help. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I think so too. Man, what about you, Mergles? Oh boy.
Speaker 3
Well, we mentioned very like quickly before recording and I think just bouncing off of that, that concept of really sort of, I don't know, deep. I can't help but get deep with this question. So initially my answer is always like, no, I wouldn't. But if I could, I think I would want to go coincidentally also when I was 12. I would want to go back in time. My dad passed away of cancer when I was 12. Just a couple of weeks before my 13th birthday, actually. And I wouldn't want to go and see myself, but I think I would want to go and see him. Oh, and I would want to like, wow. I'd want to sit down with him. Like, it's very dramatic. But like while he was sick, he was like living at home in his apartment and we were like visiting and stuff. And I would want to like, I don't know, just stroll on in while he was like sitting in his chair and just be like, hey, I'm going to catch you up on some of the stuff that you aren't going to see. And like, wow, look at how cool I am now. And like, I followed my dreams and became an animator. Like you told me I was going to and I did that. And like, I live in Germany now and I've fallen in love and I'm, you were learning German when I was a kid, but look now I am and like all of this stuff, you know, so. Holy shit. I would want to do that. What about you, Acorn?
Speaker 2
Let me compose myself for a second. Yeah. Um, wow. Yeah.
Speaker 1
And I mean, we're, we're all friends here. And so I feel like we, we know a certain amount about each other. I know PB, you and Mergs have been friends for longer. And so you definitely know more about each other's life. Um, but I did not know that you lost your father, Mergs. And that floored me because I also lost my dad when I was a kid and that in many ways to find my life. And to your point, PB, I don't think I would go back and try to change anything because all of the hardship that I went through made me who I am today. But I do think going back in Avenue, at least a conversation with my younger self would help because I think a lot of my life, I never felt understood. I really struggled with just feeling like I, I belonged or I was accepted. And I think a lot of it came from losing an apparent so young. And I think just having that conversation of like, Hey, life is going to be hard. Um, but you don't have to be perfect. You don't have to achieve anything. Just follow your dreams. Be yourself. Experience life. Um, I think that would have gone a long way. Even if it was just coming from someone who knew who actually knew.
Speaker 2
Do you think it would make a difference? Like, would you go back and just have that conversation as a stranger or would you let yourself know I'm you from the future?
Speaker 1
That's a tough one because, oh man, fantasy was such a huge thing for me when I was a kid. That's where I escaped. And that's, that was my reality. Some days that was everything. So I almost wonder if it would be too confusing to go back and say, Hi, I'm from the future and I'm you because then it would plant the seed of almost like looking for time travel for the rest of my life. Yeah. I was wondering that if you would
Speaker 2
forever. Yeah. Just yearn for wins the day that I'm going to travel, you know, when am I going to do this?
Speaker 3
And all the decisions you would actually not end up making. Yeah.
Speaker 1
In order to guide yourself there. Yeah. Yeah. So I almost think maybe as a stranger, but a knowledgeable stranger, like I know what you've gone through and I've gone through something like that too. So let's talk and you're going to be okay. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Yeah. I think I would take that route as well. I don't think I would let myself know that
Speaker 3
I'm from the future. Yeah. I think letting yourself know would probably be. I think that's why I was like, I wouldn't even want to see myself. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Solid answers, man.
Speaker 3
Oh my God. That was good. Yeah. That was really good. Thank you guys for sharing such beautiful things.
Speaker 2
It actually, yeah. Well, thank you. It actually segues into housekeeping a little bit, I think, because we would love to know yours, your answer and your thoughts on the episode as well. If there's anything that we missed that you feel like including or just kind of sharing your perspective on what we talk about, we'd love to hear it. So you can do that by using the hashtag on Twitter, dark companion pod or emailing us at dark companion pod at gmail.com. And I just only have two points from housekeeping last week because I edited the episode and it's so what we've decided to do is that each person that is going to take the lead on the episode. They're also going to be the one to edit the episode. And then if we have housekeeping notes for the next week, they'll discover those a little bit. So my two are we forgot. We talked about everyone's secrets except for hell. He's mentioned a couple times in relation to other people's secrets, but we totally skipped over his secrets. But we've decided that we're going to cover all of his secrets in his solo episode because he has one. So don't worry. Those are coming. And then the other housekeeping note that I had was that Mergles mentioned how weird it was that Noah kidnaps and kills her. He's a little kidnaps and kills his future wife's deaf boyfriend. I also found that incredibly interesting and then we just never talked about it.
Speaker 3
I very like casually threw it up. I was like, yeah, and then you know, he like it's kind of weird that no one like kidnaps and then I did not follow the rest of the thought. Yeah, and
Speaker 2
I took a note as I was editing and I went, that's actually really cool and we should talk about that. So don't worry. If you had the same reaction I did, we're going to cover that in Noah's episode as well. And those are my only housekeeping only housekeeping bets from last week's episode. Cool.
Speaker 1
Awesome. I can only imagine the people listening going like we get to the end are like, is that everyone? I think it is. Okay. Let's do our outro now. And it's like, wait, what about Helga?
Speaker 2
Yeah, they probably have the same reaction I did. What? Yeah. Can
Speaker 3
we, can we call the episode for Helga? Yeah. Can we just call it? We totally forgot about forgot you. Yeah. Because also I feel like the show does never, the show never does, but the characters certainly do at certain points. So
Speaker 2
yeah, I was, I was shocked by that, but it was our first episode. And I think we did a great job covering pretty much anybody else. But yeah, I just wanted to do those two housekeeping bits.
Speaker 1
So good. All right. Well, we're talking about Mickle today, where or when is Mickle? And so to, to kind of start off, who is Mickle? Yeah.
Speaker 2
I think so. Mickle is when you're first introduced to him, he is obsessed with magic. And I think that that's really important to his character. The first scene is him showing his data trick, a disappearing act, if you will. And I think watching his fascination with Houdini, it's an immediate parallel to the fact that he's going to
Speaker 3
disappear and reappear. I would also like to say that in doing research for this, because I was like super, I caught onto the Houdini parallel and his obsession with Houdini. One of the other things that I noticed was, I mean, this is like a spoiler for later, but when he takes his own life, the way he does it, which is by hanging. And Houdini was known for escape tricks with ropes and tying himself up and all of these things, hanging from buildings and things like that. So I wondered, part of me wondered if that was also like something that the showrunners had thought about. Yeah.
Speaker 2
I wonder, I wonder, that's actually a good point. I guess to summarize Mickle, I'm sure everybody listening to this knows who Mickle is, but Mickle is the younger brother to Marta and Magnus. And we're first introduced to him early on episode one in that whole family dynamic. And he goes missing later that episode. He's, it kind of just gravitates around him going missing. And he ends up going back in time and becoming Jonas's father. So that
Speaker 1
whole
Speaker 2
season one kind of focuses around where or when is Mickle. So I think that's a good summary for who he is.
Speaker 1
Yeah, just that it's crazy to think that he grew up in 2019, went back to 1986 and then lived all the way up to 2019. Only to commit suicide in the time of his boyhood. What would you do though?
Speaker 2
I know. Well, he thought he had to.
Speaker 1
He thought he was participating
Speaker 3
in the cycle. Yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1
So he was born in the 2000s. And in 2019 is where the, the show starts. He's born in
Speaker 2
2008. Is it 2008? I mean, just, yes.
Speaker 1
Born in 2008.
Speaker 2
To Ulrich and, and Katarina. Perfect. Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1
So while the show starts with his disappearance, the, his actual timeline starts in the show a little earlier than that because it was June of 2019, where his parents had that 25th anniversary party. Yes. And that was the day he woke up with rashes all over his body and on the way to the doctor. Wait, what? Yeah. What? Yeah.
Speaker 2
What? That's June 20th. He kills himself June 21st. Yeah. The day after that party. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Exactly. I just. The day after their anniversary. Wow.
Speaker 1
I cannot, in going through this timeline, I'm like, are
Speaker 2
you kidding me? All the details. Yeah. Sorry. Interrupted your timeline. Please continue. No, no, it's okay.
Speaker 1
He, he has this rash and his parents take him to the doctor and it's on the way to the doctor where we see that scene where traveling Jonas is on the side of the road and they're like, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the river? Yeah.
Speaker 3
Ultimate fist bump. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Ultimate fist bump. Oh, and this is also where they tease him about Martha. So yeah, I thought it was neat how I don't know if young Jonas ever heard directly that Martha had a crush on him. I think he kind of inferred that, but then in this scene, the Nielsen family tease him about Martha so into you and yeah, you know, you guys should get together and kissy kissy and whatever parents do. Now, this is before they actually, anything
Speaker 2
happens between them because it ends up happening at the party. Right? Okay. Yeah. Just keeping my timeline straight.
Speaker 1
But then the Nielsen's stopped by the con walls that day because it's the day of their anniversary and I guess they're making something up for the party or something. And Hannah has that moment of deja vu next to the car when she looks at Michael and then Michael goes inside to go to the bathroom and then that's where he encounters Michael because Michael lurks outside the bathroom and knows that's his younger self. And so he doesn't know what to do, but is like drawn to him knowing this is the day that everything is starting to come back together. So do
Speaker 2
you think he knows or do you think he thinks he's crazy?
Speaker 1
I think he knows. That's my theory. What about you, Merx? Um, I
Speaker 3
actually think that there's, uh, I don't know. That's tough because I think that they do a lot of evidence both ways. Yeah, I think they do a lot of like implying that he, there is a line that I actually wrote down where, um, Enes asks him when, when Michael Enes first meet, Enes asks him about master's wong's paradox. One day she dreamt that she was a butterfly and woke up confused if she's still a person who dreamed she was a butterfly or she's a butterfly who's dreaming. She asked me, go what he think he, uh, what he would think he was to which he responds both. And so I think like that's a really good indicator of the fact that I'm sure there is some crazy deep burying of everything in order to live your day to day life and not to be a person. And so I think that's a really good indicator of the way to day life and not be completely stuck in the past. Um, and you know, my interpretation of watching it was just this moment where he really starts, he like actually sees himself as he was when he went missing, which is the only record that he has that that happened. I think this moment where he sees him, um, is the first time one of the first times where it's really impactful. Like, Oh, that is what I look like when I went missing.
Speaker 2
That is me.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2
They also reference that he is on, I think, anti psychotic medicine. Like he's on some meds. Uh, and then also that he's a recluse that he does not go out. He doesn't talk to anybody. He doesn't go to parties or anything. And it's, I think it's a point of contention between Hannah and him. And I think we all know why. Because you would just be insane watching your parents grow old and fall in love and then have you. And then, you know, even if you thought you were crazy and then they have a son and they call him nickel and you're like, Oh, you know, just like, or magma. Yeah. Every single day of your life, you're just like, what is happening? And, and I remember really fascinated by the idea that he doesn't know if he is crazy or not. Yeah. And also he becomes a painter, which I think they, I think that's just a very interesting occupation for somebody who is kind of dealing with such crazy, like his is all real. It's not psychosis, but there is that trope that artists, great artists will go, you know, are crazy or suffer from a lot of mental illnesses and things like that. So I just thought that was very interesting. Or even art as therapy. Yeah. Do we ever see his paintings in the background? Do we ever see what he's drawing?
Speaker 1
I don't think so. I wonder. It's bits and pieces. It's more sketches, I think. He keeps referring to a painting, but we don't actually see the painting itself. But in his studio, we see like papers of dark blobs and really like dark style. I got it. Painting.
Speaker 2
Yeah. You can see it. Yeah. So I'm going to put it in our discord so that we can talk about it. I love that we can just, there's three of us. So one of us can just Google while the other is talking and then be like, here it is. Does that not look like a time loop tee up in the top right corner? That's the time loop. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Yeah.

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