3min chapter

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled cover image

Healing a Child's Anger (a Powerful Success Story)

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

CHAPTER

Introduction

Janet Lansbury is sharing a success story that a parent excitedly wrote to her. At a low point last January after my five-year-old boy hit my mom, I read No Bad Kids and it started a deep shift in our family. My son and I had a conflict yesterday that we didn't quite resolve. He was pushing me away when deep down he probably wanted to be close. So I stayed there quietly and just looked at him with love. His feelings started escalating which unexpectedly made me more confident.

00:00
Speaker 1
Hey everyone. Before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new No Bad Kids Master Course. You can find out all about it at nobadkidscourse.com. Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled. Today I am doing something a little different. I'm sharing a success story that a parent excitedly wrote to me. For those of you who are familiar with my written work, my books and my posts on my website, you know that I love to share success stories. I feel it really helps all of us to get specific examples of what these principles and responses that I recommend actually look like in practice. How parents are using them. And I'm also going to give some commentary, which I don't often get to do so much in my written posts bit by bit about this experience. Okay, so here's the email that I received. Hi Janet. I have a success story that I wanted to write down for myself and then thought, I should share this with Janet. It was a textbook Janet moment for me. At a low point last January after my five-year-old boy hit my mom, I read No Bad Kids and it started a deep shift in our family that I'm incredibly grateful for. Thank you so much for your profound work. Since last January, I've read something of yours several times a week awkwardly trying your approach, wondering if I was doing it right with small successes and some hopeless moments. But today, it all came together. I'd love to share that story with you. My son and I had a conflict yesterday that we didn't quite resolve. I still felt disconnected from him this morning. So after I had done some self-care, a workout, and felt well resourced, I saw that he was drawing by himself and I went over and sat next to him. My closeness started bringing up the feelings. I want space. Go away. I felt the doubt slip in. He's asking for space. Shouldn't I just give him space? But then I remembered that he was pushing me away when deep down he probably wanted to be close. So I stayed there quietly and just looked at him with love. His feelings started escalating which unexpectedly made me more confident. Leave me alone.

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