I often ask people two questions one How much do you value empathy and then how much do you think the average person in your community values empathy again? whether it's a school or a hospital or a workplace. Almost irrespective of where I do this I find the same pattern and individual say I value empathy enormously And they then feel that the averageperson in their workplace for instance values it a lot less Now the true answer is what people are saying about themselves The phantom norm is what they thinking the average person there believes So I often show people at companies I say on average Look around you the people in your workplace really want this to be an empathic organization You don't realize that everybody else feels the

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