2min chapter

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How To Create A MORNING ROUTINE To Achieve Your MOST AMBITIOUS GOALS In 2023 | Tom Bilyeu

Tom Bilyeu's Impact Theory

CHAPTER

The Impossible to Please Father Routine

"If they tried to push me, it's very hard to push water," she says of her mother. "I don't fall for the impossible to please father routine ... that is not something that resonates with me" She wouldn't expect praise from her and would never allow her to hold any of her self worth or anything.

00:00
Speaker 1
Remember, right? Like there is a way to handle that if somebody has behaviors that don't make sense, and maybe you do. But saying something like you're the worst part of this family is so corrosive and ridiculous, that already it just shows a fundamental lack of understanding of human empathy and human psychology. But this is where I think you bring your understanding of human empathy and human psychology to understand that somebody that can say that, like there is a negativity in them, there is an unhappiness, a sadness, an insecurity, a sense of being ineffective, because the only thing they know how to do is lash out and hurt that I would meet them with compassion. Now, I would meet them with silent compassion. I'll be really fucking honest with you, because I'm not going to try to convince them. I'm not going to argue with them. I would be like water. And so if they tried to push me, it's very hard to push water. So I would just let that roll off me. And I think you have to get very good at that at understanding what people are capable of, at understanding where they are mentally, emotionally, and not try to worry about convincing them. I don't fall for the impossible to please father routine, which I know a lot of people do, but that is not something that resonates with me. So when I realize that somebody is impossible to please or that they're broken in their own ways, I don't spend my time trying to convince them of my worth or anything else. It's I will love them for what they have to offer. And I think that totally writing off your mom would be very, very difficult for you. There's just something hardwired in us to make that next to impossible. But I certainly wouldn't expect praise from her. I would not allow her to hold any of my self worth or anything. And you have to totally detach yourself from that. It is not easy. There's much sadness that's going to be around that. But I think that it is absolutely imperative that you not take her opinion of you seriously. Now, separate the message from the messenger.

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