Being honest with yourself about what you actually want is really really important at the end of the day. The biggest mistake I've made in situations like this that would have saved me months of pain was not telling people the moment that we weren't on the same page anymore. Be really explicit because it can be really easy to ignore until you can't anymore and the thing is there are feelings for you aren't going to change or if they do then either way you're getting something out of it. A level of honesty and respect no matter where you stand in terms of commitment  is just a huge thing i think in any relationship friendships family colleagues anything at all.