3min chapter

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled cover image

Our Expectations Can Make Us Feel Like Failures

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

CHAPTER

How to Love Your Kids Well Every Day

My older son watches something really stimulating he just is crazy afterwards like his behavior is it's totally night and day so I think there is definitely some like over stimulation happening with him at times. We're not doing ourselves that much of a favor by having them sit in front of the TV oh for sure yep that's another issue. My husband and I operate as a team and are always a united front with our boys okay that's greatI've recently been teaching my oldest that our family is a team and we need to work together to love each other well every day so I don't know how that's looking but that's something that really has to be modeled for him to learn you know

00:00
Speaker 2
we only look the kids have TV on the weekends right now and we have to be really careful what my older son watches something really stimulating he just is crazy afterwards like his behavior is it's totally night and day so I think there is definitely some like over stimulation happening with him at times
Speaker 1
and again that's very common and that's even just a typical three and a half year old they're sitting there and their bodies are quiet and they seem like oh well he's calm or whatever but they're absorbing all of this stuff from the screen that is kind of incomprehensible to them because it moves so fast and they can't really get it so anyway I understand doing it but we're not doing ourselves that much of a favor by having them sit in front of the TV oh
Speaker 2
for sure
Speaker 1
yep that's another issue so all we know is that he is sensitive not he doesn't even seem incredibly sensitive for his age but he's on the sensitive side maybe his brother is as well and that means that they're very easily going to go over the edge into that unreasonable place and then when we as parents are still thinking in reasonable mode with them then we're going to get ourselves to the things that you describe feeling like a failure feeling like you're letting them down because they're letting you down on a reasonable level okay well I want to start with this because I actually circled what you say here because I even think this is kind of setting yourself up for trouble I'm not saying this is like you're doing anything wrong I'm just saying no it's hard for yourself here when you say my husband and I operate as a team and are always a united front with our boys okay that's great I've recently been teaching my oldest that our family is a team and we need to work together to love each other well every day so I don't know how that's looking but that's something that really has to be modeled for him to learn you know the pressure of like we have to love each other well every day that means you're not going to hit anybody or whatever that means you know it's already kind of expecting something that he's not going to live up to you he's going to disappoint you in loving well every day he's going to mess up on that so I wouldn't feel like that's your responsibility that you're supposed to make that happen because if you're not making it happen you're a failure right yeah so that's why this is important for you and I want to keep the focus on you feeling more comfortable
Speaker 2
can

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