Attachment, OCD, Masking, and Holding the Lens

After discovering you’re Autistic or have ADHD, you most likely started to re-examine the past—and the realization of missed cues or misunderstood moments can bring up nostalgia, relief, and even regret. Revisiting friendships, relationships, and life events through a newly understood neurodivergent lens is often emotional but also essential for self-understanding.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the emotional journey that comes after Autism and ADHD discovery. They share how new self-knowledge reshapes memories, relationships, and the way they relate to themselves and others. Through candid stories about dating, friendships, family dynamics, and personal growth, Patrick and Megan Anna unpack the joys and heartaches of looking back, recontextualizing the past, and navigating big feelings that surface post-diagnosis.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain insight into the emotional rollercoaster many neurodivergent people experience after a new diagnosis or self-identification, including “aha” moments and the complex process of reframing past experiences with new understanding.
2. Hear personal stories about dating, friendship, and family dynamics that will resonate if you’ve ever wondered why life felt “off”—and how the right framework changes everything.
3. Find compassionate guidance on repairing relationships, managing nostalgia or regret, and embracing self-compassion during a sometimes messy process of self-discovery.

Whether you’re in the midst of self-discovery or supporting someone who is, this conversation brings real-life honesty and practical wisdom to a journey that can be both destabilizing and transformative.

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Thanks to Our Sponsor: Landmark College Success Center & Jane

✨ Landmark College Success Center

Landmark College Success Center, located in San Mateo, California, provides academic support, executive function coaching, and transition-to-college skills training for neurodiverse learners, both in-person and online. A subsidiary of Landmark College (landmark.edu) – the world’s first and foremost college for neurodivergent students – the Success Center is equipped to put you or your student on the path to success. Learn more at landmark.edu/successcenter.

✨ Jane:

Jane is a clinic management software and EMR designed to be an extra set of helping hands in your health and wellness business. Available online and on any device, Jane has branded online booking, scheduling, insurance billing, customizable documentation templates and online forms, integrated payments, telehealth, and more — wrapped up in one beautiful package that even your patients/clients will love. Backed by our unlimited human support available by phone, email, and chat (even on Saturdays!), Jane is here to help you get back to the work you love. Get 2 months off new Jane subscriptions when you use code DCPOD at signup. Visit: janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/divergentconversations

✨ Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Burnout Resources

If you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

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💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground

Divergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com

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Mentioned in this episode:

Jane

Jane is a clinic management software and EMR designed to be an extra set of helping hands in your health and wellness business. Available online and on any device, Jane has branded online booking, scheduling, insurance billing, customizable documentation templates and online forms, integrated payments, telehealth, and more — wrapped up in one beautiful package that even your patients/clients will love. Backed by our unlimited human support available by phone, email, and chat (even on Saturdays!), Jane is here to help you get back to the work you love. Get 2 months off new Jane subscriptions when you use code DCPOD at signup. Visit: https://janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/divergentconversations

Neurodivergent Insights' Autistic Burnout Resources

If you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

Landmark College Success Center

Landmark College Success Center, located in San Mateo, California, provides academic support, executive function coaching, and transition-to-college skills training for neurodiverse learners, both in-person and online. A subsidiary of Landmark College (landmark.edu) – the world’s first and foremost college for neurodivergent students – the Success Center is equipped to put you or your student on the path to success. Learn more at landmark.edu/successcenter.