i don't think pecking order is necessarily bad. I can remember in my high school that there were certain nice, popular kids. Kids who are likable when they are young grow up to be relatively likeable when they're older on average. The parenting style that has by far the most scientific evidence of its being a good parenting style is called the authoritative parenting style. i'm so frequently confused with tiger mam. But no, i don't mean authoritarian parenting, which is, i think, at least the stereotype of tiger Parenting.