The Sandpaper of Success

Today’s guest, New York Times bestselling author Rachel May Stafford, confided to her friend that the fruits of her successful career were starting to sour. She had become stressed, depleted, and was feeling used—all of it contaminating her joy and sense of purpose.

Her friend Shannon replied with a wise reminder, the way only our truest friends can:

“Rachel, you’re a mapmaker, not a baggage carrier, not a tour operator, and not a travel agent. You are there to guide and accompany people through their own journey; you are not responsible for carrying stuff that does not belong to you.”

The relief in releasing roles that were no longer serving her is one of many powerful Soul Shifts that Rachel and I discuss in today’s conversation. Listen in for strategies to drop self-judgement and the masks we wear for others, stepping more fully into authentic joy.

More About Rachel: Rachel Macy Stafford is the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, Only Love Today, and Live Love Now. Her new book, Soul Shift: The Weary Human’s Guide to Getting Unstuck and Reclaiming Your Path to Joy. Rachel is a sought-after speaker and creator of her perennially popular course, Soul Shift Lift.

🌟 3 Key Takeaways

• Try shifting “I can’t do this” to “I can’t do this today.”
• Accept where you are: It’s okay to say, “I’m not where I want to be.”
• Role Reflection: How do you want to show up in the world? Write your “I am not a ______” list. A few examples from Rachel: “I’m a connector, not an influencer,” and “I am an encourager, not an advice giver or problem fixer.”

✅ Try This Next: For a thought that’s causing you stress, especially one where you’re being hard on yourself, try Dr. Lisa Firestone’s exercise, starting with dividing a piece of paper in half. Write negative thoughts down the left side. On the right side, translate the same statement into the second person. On a second piece of paper beside the first, write a realistic and impartial view of yourself, your qualities, and your situation, using your name. “We have a choice each day. We can work against ourselves or for ourselves; we can push through life or ease through life.”

🔗 Resources Mentioned

• Rachel on the web
• Social: @handsfreerevolution (IG), Twitter, Facebook
• Person: Dr. Lisa Firestone

📚 Books Mentioned

• Soul Shift: The Weary Human's Guide to Getting Unstuck and Reclaiming Your Path to Joy
• Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice by Dr. Robert Firestone
• Free Time: Lose the Busywork, Love Your Business
• Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One
• Life After College

🎧 Related Episodes

• The Tim Ferriss Show: 430: Elizabeth Gilbert’s Amazing Creative Toolkit: Saying No, Trusting Intuition, Seeking Awe, Bathing in Grief, and Index Cards (Full transcript here)
• Good Life Project: Ann Patchett on Solitude, Writing, and Indie Bookstores
• Free Time: 178: 📕Book Club — 3 Big Ideas from SAVING TIME by Jenny Odell
• Pivot:
• 329: Five Types of People-Pleasers from The Joy of Saying No with Natalie Lue
• 327: 🐺The Wolf You Feed — On Addiction, Recovery & Codependency — and What We Get Wrong About All Three with Eric Zimmer
• 320: Sustainable Ambition with Kathy Oneto

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