Unlearning likability and embracing being unpopular

Comedian, creator, actress, author, and activist Lilly Singh has built a career on breaking barriers and rewriting the rules.

In this episode of The Burnouts, Lilly Singh sits down with Phoebe Gates and Sophia Kianni to share her journey: from growing up as the “disappointing” second daughter in an immigrant household, to becoming YouTube’s breakout superstar with 15M+ subscribers, to launching a late-night show and producing her own films.

She opens up about the chip on her shoulder that fueled her rise, how gender equity shapes everything she does, and why she believes storytelling—not just politics or protests—is the most powerful tool for change. Plus: her new raunchy sex comedy Doing It (why Hollywood called it “too niche”), what she learned about money, gratitude, and negotiating as a woman, and how she built Hyphenate to support South Asian creators.

Lilly also gets real about therapy, unlearning likability, the pressure of “relevancy” on the internet, and why connection—not algorithms—is the only metric that really matters.

Whether you’re dreaming of becoming a creator, breaking into Hollywood, or building a career that actually aligns with your values, this conversation is packed with lessons, raw honesty, and plenty of laughs.

Chapters
00:00 – Growing up in Toronto & immigrant expectations
02:00 – The chip on her shoulder: proving girls can do anything
04:00 – Why storytelling is activism
05:00 – Doing It: sex comedy as cultural intervention
08:00 – Lessons from early YouTube days & feeding the algorithm
10:00 – Losing (and regaining) authenticity & connection
12:00 – Hollywood, “noise,” and drawing boundaries
14:00 – Building her first team & hiring smarter people
18:00 – Hyphenate: supporting South Asian creators
20:00 – Diversifying income & passive revenue
23:00 – Passion projects vs. profit projects
28:00 – Negotiating money & the weaponization of gratitude
31:00 – Unlearning likability & embracing being “unpopular”
34:00 – Hollywood vs. YouTube: who really knows the audience
36:00 – Defining success when relevancy is weaponized
38:00 – Boundaries, therapy, and not being “what you do”
42:00 – Why being a lifelong student is the smartest move
43:00 – Tattoos, spirituality & protection

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About The Burnouts
The Burnouts brings you raw, unfiltered conversations with today’s top founders, creators, and culture-shaping entrepreneurs. Hosted by Stanford roommates turned startup co-founders, Phoebe Gates and Sophia Kianni, the show goes beyond the headlines to share the real stories, lessons, and mindsets that define your 20s.

Past guests include Paris Hilton, Chelsea Handler, Kris Jenner, Karlie Kloss, and Tommy Hilfiger.

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