Are You Afraid if It's Just a Mingle Party?

I have essentially two modes, right? I'm like a robot with two modes. One mode is I'm amongst friends and I am, it's a small group. The other mode is I am in front of a crowd and I am performing. And the middle is where things break down for me. It feels like this group is large enough for me to go into performance mode, but I don't feel comfortable going into performance mode. So I'm staying in this sort of more intimate,. I'm in an intimate conversation mode, but now I have to speak in a way that addresses more than 12 people. That's just talking to other people. And I think it just makes me uncomfortable