Are You Pre-Fucked?

When I sense awareness or even consciousness, it doesn't demonstrate any sort of effort in being conscious. Why would I believe thought and effort would bring me to that which demonstrates no thought? That's insane. They just say you're already pre-fucked. It's like a presupposing of being tough and then you can work hard as hell to try to be un-fucked, but you're inherently fucked. You don't feel anything. What did I do? I didn't know I was doing a model thing. Jesus, but I got much out to lunch.