I Don't Like in Control Aspect of Eating

If i am in a situation where i cannot follow my eating pattern, i feel lost. If i notice any change in my weight, even a small one, following my diet becomes a priority for me. Mainly like it when i look at my abs and like, o they're gone. I used to be like this, yes? Now i slike it. But still, when i look in the mirror, i'm like, oh, i don't look like my tut tip top self. It's not been at on the scale. Oh, i won't. Seop, most people do. Strongly disagreeing....