We subconsciously look for these people who are familiar in this sense because it's a distraction for us. If the other person represents what we ourselves struggle with, with perhaps what we've given up on in our own lives, it feels good in a way to say, well, I can help them. It's the perfect distraction from us. And voila, we end up actively seeking out someone who makes our lives more problematic. We're just living our lives kind of without question and we're living like attracts like.