We know that our lives and our leadership flourish when we practice showing up in emotionally mature ways but we don’t always know what that looks like practically. After thinking together about emotional maturity for more than 20 years, we believe that it looks like practicing being both defined and connected as a way of life.

In this podcast, we talk about defining ourselves, letting others define themselves, staying appropriately connected . . . and then we look at the “and” that holds them all together. It’s a little bit like patting your head and rubbing your tummy–trying to do both things at once is a challenge! We think it’s worth it, though. We hope you’ll join us to look at how the concept of being defined and connected shows up in your life and how you can use it as a framework to think through some of your stickiest problems.

• Defining ourselves by clearly and courageously saying what is so for us
• Allowing (and even inviting) others to define themselves
• Staying appropriately connected and honoring our relationships with others even if they see things differently
• Connecting by listening rather than convincing
• Disagreeing without dehumanizing each other
• Looking at your patterns: Do you give up defining yourself in order to preserve the connection? Do you define yourself but let go of the connection?
• Examples of practice
• A visual representation

How did Jesus deal with Conflict?

Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown