The Intelligence of PTSD

John writes "My encounter happened in the Berkshires of Massachusetts, where Umass is, in October of my senior year of college (October 16th, 2021); I was twenty-one years old.

To slightly set the scene for you, I was home due to covid during the second half of my sophomore year and my entire Junior year of college. My senior year was the first year everyone returned to campus, with everything running as normal as possible. After a long week of midterms, I decided to take the Saturday to myself and hike in October Mountain State Forest in Lee, Massachusetts, to relax my mind.

I was on the trail for about an hour and a half and prepared to return to my car around four o'clock in the evening so I would be at my car y the time it was dark. On my way back down the trail, the sun was starting to set, so I wanted to try to find a better view of the sunset. I found a trail that was not as finished as the main trail, which went up a small hill, so I figured I climb it to see the sunset better. I went upwards on the trail for what was probably twenty-five minutes when I just came across it. There was what appeared to be an ape-man sitting down staring at me as I stared at it. It was about my size, 6'1". It had black fur, and its skin was a grayish-black color. It was holding a branch in its left hand, and I believe it was eating the leaves off of it and saw me as it was in the middle of chewing. It had its head tilted upwards with pupils on me. Its mouth was half open, and it had a confused and scared look on its face. What scared me the most was the eyes.

There was so much human expression in the eyes alone that I was unsure what I was looking at. After about thirty seconds, it lowered its head and faced forward to its right side but kept its eyes on me. This side-eye it gave me made me feel sick to my stomach. I was looking at a human, but it wasn't a human. The creature then moved its eyes off me, looked in the direction its face was facing, and then moved its eyes back on me, never moving its head. Thinking of the whites of its eyes is giving me goosebumps. This went on for about a minute when I heard a massive crunching of leaves come from out of nowhere in the direction the initial one was looking. The same creature came out from behind a tree, although this one was much bigger, closer to eight feet tall, and I just wanted to deflate on the spot. When it came out from behind its tree, its hand raised toward the smaller one with its hand up as if it was saying, "Stop." The larger creature was female, as it had large breasts. The expression of the new monster was not aggressive. Her head was lowered with her eyes and her brows raised, looking directly at me. I started to shake my head to say no, and to be completely honest with you, Wes, I started to cry. I wanted to scream, but nothing would come out of my mouth; my face was paralyzed but silent. The creature watched me, and I don't think there was any sympathy, but I think it knew I was not a threat. She lowered her hand and stood straight up, looking at me, and she looked behind me and, for lack of a better term, spoke. It was a weird gibberish thing.

I don't even know how to describe it to you. She did not look back at me but at the smaller one, and then she slowly walked away. The smaller one looked at me weirdly; I don't know if it was fear, confusion, disgust, or none of the above. It soon followed the female and kept looking back at me with the same expression. I didn't know what to do because whatever I did when it was right in front of me kept it from attacking me. I felt like if I made one slight movement, it would come back and kill me.

I was also terrified to turn around to go back down the trail because I was almost sure she "spoke" to another one of these things behind me. I was so scared to turn around, I was fully prepared to see another one, but there was nothing there. I was terrified after what I saw and wanted to get out of the woods as soon as possible. As I went to take my first step back, I vomited, which made me feel like I could bring myself to move my body. I walked in fear along the trail back to my car, not seeing anyone else, to my dismay. When I finally reached the end of the trail and could see the opening of the parking lot, I felt so much better. I moved faster as I got closer and felt like I wanted to cry again when from behind me, I heard a guttural "Ay."

I immediately turned around and saw another creature much bigger than the female I had seen earlier. It was standing behind a large rock which only allowed me to see the creature's chest up and one of the creature's feet planted on the ground. I could tell it was male; I don't know if that is because the noise it made sounded like a man or because of intuition, but I am willing to bet this one was male. This interaction was far scarier even though less happened. It looked at me with absolutely zero expression except for its eyes and brows. Its brows were raised all the way, and its eyes were open so wide they looked like they were popping out. That is all it did. I believe it just wanted me to know it was there. Again I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to cry; however, I felt like if I had done what I had done earlier, I could be okay. I walked to the end of the trail at the opening of the parking lot and turned around to find the creature still standing there with the same expression on its face. I wanted to look away but was afraid to take my eyes off it. I made it to my car and drove back to Amherst with one hand clasped over my mouth and crying the whole way home; I was still terrified. My friends invited me out that night, but I refused; I stayed in my apartment and was awake all night. I had an awful feeling these things would somehow follow me home.

Sorry, that encounter is so long. I'm not sure how long other people's encounters are on paper. I can't get into enough detail about what I saw, but I'm also getting emotional as I go through it again. I'm nervous about coming on the show if you feel like you would even want me. I'm embarrassed about how I reacted to these things, I always feel like I want to act like more of an adult than I am, but I guess when push comes to shove and I see something terrifying, I still cry like a kid. I'm also worried about how I might come off to people who listen, especially since I am relatively fresh out of college and am working to become a full-time classroom teacher. I don't want to come off as crazy because I know how I must sound after seeing what I saw.

But that's my encounter; life hasn't been the same since. I'm glad I work with fourth-grade students. They remind me of how naive the world can be, and I find peace in that. I wish I never saw these things because I can't stand my viewpoint on the world since that day. If you would ever like to call and talk off the air, I would appreciate that I have yet to share my encounter with many people, and I don't even think the people I told 100% believe me. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read my email to you, and I hope to hear from you soon."

I will also be welcoming Jane to the show. In 2013 Jane saw these strange lights in Palm Springs, CA. She said "there was something sinister about the lights or that was the feeling I got."

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