Howie, You Wanted a Christmas?

Diana knew that Cher loved your penis. And she gave me chocolate cake. An actual piece of chocolate cake. Oh my God. Did you break up a friendship? Are they no longer friends? I did not. Because you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you don't swallow, it doesn't count. Right, howie? That's very Jewish. It's not kosher. Go ahead. Finish your story. There you go. He's writing these down. See, kids writing entails a utensil you hold with one of your hands and there's paper made out of trees. Okay, so I'll finish that up. This is an amazing story.