The Weight of Secrets and Community Connections

Three psychology and sociology experts, Robert Waldinger, Michael Slepian, and Richard Reeves come together in this compilation to discuss the psychology of loneliness and the way we can combat the “friendship recession.”

It’s 2024. It’s harder than ever to foster deep connections with others. Everyone feels like they’re missing out on friendships, and every day of isolation makes it even harder to escape the rut. From keeping secrets to workism, these experts are unpacking why we feel lonely and suggesting the ways we can combat it. They encourage us to reach out, be vulnerable, and prioritize our relationships, reminding us that we are not alone in our struggle and that meaningful connections are within reach. By following their advice, we can transform our social lives and experience the joy and fulfillment that come from true companionship. Understanding the root causes of our loneliness and actively working to build and maintain connections can help us break free from isolation and create a more connected, fulfilling life.

About Robert Waldinger: Robert Waldinger, MD is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, a practicing psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and a Zen teacher and practitioner. For the last two decades, Waldinger has been the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. This study, conducted over more than 85 years, has analyzed the entire lives of 724 families to determine the activities, behaviors, and dynamics that enhance a person’s life-long well-being. Waldinger has dedicated his career to examining these elements and discovering what brings true fulfillment to human existence. He is the author of several books, including his most recent, The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness About Michael Slepian: Michael Slepian is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia University. A recipient of the Rising Star Award from the Association for Psychological Science, he is the leading expert on the psychology of secrets and author of The Secret Life of Secrets. Slepian has authored more than fifty articles on secrecy, truth, and deception. His research has been covered by The New York Times, The Atlantic, The New Yorker, The Economist, The Wall Street Journal, the BBC, and more. About Richard Reeves: Richard V. Reeves is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families. His Brookings research focuses on the middle class, inequality and social mobility. Richard writes for a wide range of publications, including the New York Times, Guardian, National Affairs, The Atlantic, Democracy Journal, and Wall Street Journal. He is the author of Dream Hoarders (Brookings Institution Press, 2017), and John Stuart Mill – Victorian Firebrand (Atlantic Books, 2007), an intellectual biography of the British liberal philosopher and politician. Dream Hoarders was named a Book of the Year by The Economist, a Political Book of the Year by The Observer, and was shortlisted for the Goddard Riverside Stephan Russo Book Prize for Social Justice. In September 2017, Politico magazine named Richard one of the top 50 thinkers in the U.S. For his work on class and inequality. A Brit-American, Richard was director of strategy to the UK’s Deputy Prime Minister from 2010 to 2012. Other previous roles include director of Demos, the London-based political think-tank; social affairs editor of the Observer; principal policy advisor to the Minister for Welfare Reform, and research fellow at the Institute for Public Policy Research. Richard is also a former European Business Speaker of the Year and has a BA from Oxford University and a PhD from Warwick University.

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