You were adopted at birth and came into a family where your nine year old brother had died six months beore you were born. You've written about how for a long time, you thought of yourself as a replacement child, occupying this space once held for another child. Did that sense of being a replacement ever dissipate? No, no, i still have it. And i would say still, the sense of profound illegitimacy, do i have a right to exist? Is with me constantly. I don't feel wedded to any particular identity, so much so that i can't get past myself because i can't even figure out what myself would be. But that's sat