Is It a Goad, but a Paralysis?

Pablo and Carlos began keeping diaries at about the same time. Pablo told everything before he wrote it down. Poverty is not a goad, but a paralysis. I regret now how much we quarreled. Time was like water dropping, Madrid time. And I would catch his fear, and I was afraid of the movement of time. After that came a revolt and impatience. In his company I felt something I had never felt before,. actively northern.