Chris Waffes on Paternity Leave

Everton lost 1-0 to Newcastle at St James' Park on Sunday. The Toffees have never gone up the Premier League table in living memory. I was being a one man plattener of mood, says Chris Waffes. George arrived into the press box yesterday and asked me why I was drinking cranberry juice - then referred to me as a cranberry CUNT. And my final thoughts. We love you, Castle. You do love Newcastle. Jacob don't. And you do. If E-I-E-I-e-I-O up the Premier League we go is the song that you were singing. That's phoned off because