How to Diffuse Violent Conversations

If you feel like someone's being too intense with you, throw the wet blanket on them. What could I say that would have like diffused it instead of pissed her off more? So what phrase that I will use? If let's say if it's a good friend and things are getting heated, I'll say, give me two steps. That is kind of a, hey, I just need you to back off."

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