Be kind to yourself when tools fail

“I’ve masked so much. I’m a chameleon. I didn’t even know who I was anymore.”

In this episode, Aisling Smith explains how unmasking, self-knowledge, and better workplace design can transform both careers and confidence.

Aisling Smith is an award-winning neurodiversity trainer, international speaker, and inclusion consultant. Late diagnosed autistic and ADHD, she works with organizations worldwide to create neuro-inclusive workplaces and empower neurodivergent employees to thrive without masking.

Episode Highlights
00:02:27 — Discovering neurodivergence through motherhood
Aisling shares how her son’s autism diagnosis led her to recognize her own ADHD and autism. What began as advocacy for her child became a profound personal awakening.

00:07:37 — Masking and losing your sense of self
She describes lifelong masking as becoming a “chameleon” and believing this was normal. The realization reframed decades of exhaustion and emotional strain.

00:10:57 — When labels become tools, not limits
Aisling explains how labels only limit us if we inherit society’s biases. Reclaiming them as self-knowledge creates freedom rather than restriction.

00:16:29 — Leaving corporate training to work authentically
After diagnosis, she realized she could no longer train leadership through a neurotypical lens. This moment sparked her shift into neurodiversity inclusion work.

00:22:00 — Why neurodivergent employees burn out
Workplaces are designed for 80% of people, leaving others to mask and suffer. Burnout is not failure, but a predictable outcome of poor systems.

00:25:30 — The ‘volcanic’ moment at work
Meltdowns are never about one incident. Aisling explains how small ignored stressors build until the final breaking point.

00:27:30 — Empowerment beats accommodation
True inclusion isn’t about special treatment. It’s about empowering everyone to work in ways that suit their nervous system and strengths.

00:33:30 — Productivity doesn’t have one solution
She challenges productivity dogma, arguing that tools work temporarily and must adapt to seasons, energy, and regulation.

00:47:45 — Rebuilding identity with affirmations
Aisling describes dismantling years of internalized criticism by intentionally rewriting self-belief and identity.

00:50:18 — Routines change with life seasons
From 5am routines to single motherhood, she explains why flexibility matters more than discipline when building sustainable habits.

Subscribe for more conversations on focus, identity, and meaningful work. Listen to the full episode and follow Aisling Smith on LinkedIn for neurodiversity insights and training resources.

Connect with Aisling:
Website: https://aisling-smith.com/
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/aisling-smith-vance-neurodiversity

Connect with Jeremy:
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/nageljeremy
Email: jeremy@focusbear.io

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