First thing is recognize what standards are you trying to live up for. To live up to that are actually like you versus other people. You have to start by discovering who you are. Listen to that voice, and that's very, very quiet. It's grown quiet cause you've learned how to suppress it. Next thing you yo do start alining yourself with that voice. Practically. Look through your goals and try to figure out how many of these goals are based on wanting people to think something about me. And the last thing is to acknowledge that things are hard - beating yourself up isn't as bad as not achieving.