Navigating All-or-Nothing Thinking in Relationships and Advocacy

For many Autistic individuals, the consistency of routines and rituals isn't just nice, it's a strategy to accommodate for the sensory needs of their systems. Routines are reflected both internally and externally, and the disruption of these routines can result in great distress.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, talk about the comfort and chaos of daily routines and rituals, shedding light on the importance and challenges of these patterns in the lives of Autistic individuals.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain insight into the world of all-or-nothing thinking, including its role in providing predictability and unforeseen comfort, as well as learn how this way of thinking influences our ideology, relationships, and advocacy efforts, and why it's crucial to strive for more nuance in conversations.
2. Hear about how the struggle with flexibility can manifest differently for adolescent girls and boys, making it difficult to identify autism, as well as leading to misunderstanding and overlooking what's really going on.
3. Explore personal stories from Patrick and Dr. Neff that illuminate the daily struggles of inflexibility and routine disruption, such as dealing with last-minute plan changes and the perplexing difficulty of seemingly simple tasks.

As you listen, consider your own routines: what keeps you grounded and how you manage when life throws a wrench into your plans. Understanding the role of routines in the lives of Autistic individuals can help us all create more compassion and patience for ourselves and the people around us when faced with the unexpected.

Resources:

For this conversation, we are using Is This Autism By Donna Hendreson, Sarah Wayland, and Jamell White. You can find it here. But wait...

• The publisher is giving our listeners a special coupon during this series! Use Code: NDI24 to get 30% off and free shipping Valid through 6-Jul 2024 (must purchase using this link)

Also, we’ll be reading this book together for our book club in June in the Neurodivergent Learning Nook. You can learn more about our community here.

DISCLAIMER: We're using the DSM-5 criteria as a framework for this conversation, and this is not our endorsement of the DSM. There have been a lot of very thoughtful critiques of the DSM in the last several years, and more specifically, how autism is presented in the DSM is very deficit-based. So, we are not in alignment with that view, but we did use that as a framework to walk through our experience of autism and to unpack the many ways that those criteria could show up in a person. The reason we chose to do this is that we believe in the power of transparency and demystifying the process of diagnosis, which has historically been very obscure and hard to understand. And so this is our effort for those who perhaps are interested in pursuing a diagnosis or who have gone through the process and want to understand it better. This is our attempt to help demystify that experience. It is not our endorsement of the DSM. Thank you for understanding that.

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✨ The Autistic Burnout Workbook:

I'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout.

• Use the following link to grab this offer: neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64
• After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062

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💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground

Divergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com

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Mentioned in this episode:

The Autistic Burnout Workbook

I'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout. Use the following link to grab this offer: https://neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64 After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062