Putting It Together: Hard Work of Self-Mastery

Satisfaction is one of the three macronutrients of happiness, yet it has a way of slipping through our fingers. We reach a long-awaited goal, feel a brief lift, and then find ourselves wanting something more. 

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why this happens and how our ancient impulses keep pulling us back toward craving and comparison. I talk about the tendencies that erode our sense of fulfillment and why relying on achievement or recognition for lasting joy never works. 

I share three practical ways to train your brain to want less. As always, my hope is that you practice this in your life and share it with others, so together we can loosen the grip of constant wanting and make more room for love and happiness.

If you’re interested in finding out if you have a satisfaction deficiency, take the Happiness Scale here.

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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

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Timestamps:

00:00) Intro

(02:28) A quick review of the components of happiness

(04:45) What satisfaction really is 

(05:31) Why satisfaction is so hard to hold onto

(10:06) The value of struggle

(14:33) Why satisfaction fades quickly and renews our wanting

(25:41) Why you need to stand up to your animal impulses

(37:04) Step #1: Turn the prince into the sage

(41:02) Step #2: Make a reverse bucket list 

(44:28) Step #3: Get smaller 

(50:33) Q&A: How to help kids find joy outside of screen time 

(53:00) Q&A: How to cope with chronic pain

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Referenced:

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (Official Lyric Video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrIPxlFzDi0 

• Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence: https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence/dp/152474672X 

• Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Enough-Neuroscience-Experience-Addiction/dp/0385542844 

• Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society: https://findingaids.library.northwestern.edu/repositories/6/archival_objects/473411 

• Prospect Theory: An Analysis of Decision under Risk: https://doi.org/10.2307/1914185

• Why Do We Overindulge?: https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2024/05/why-do-we-overindulge

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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