"God's not somebody who you find. God's somebody who finds you once you open yourself up to it," she says. "I got on my knees and I prayed to a God I didn't think was real, like all I want to know is if you're real,. If you're not, like leave me alone, right? And if you're there for God's sake, like I want to get to know you." She adds: "That's the winding, messy, ugly journey that it all always takes".

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