Understanding Manipulation and Authentic Connections

Have you ever had an abusive boss, a partner who gaslit you at every turn, or a friend who always seemed to bend the truth? You might have crossed paths with someone in the Dark Triad.

On this episode of Office Hours, I’m diving into a topic that doesn’t create happiness but often destroys it: the Dark Triad personality constellation. These are the people with three characteristics: narcissism (it’s all about them), Machiavellianism (they’re willing to hurt you), and psychopathy (they feel little empathy or remorse when they do).

Drawing on behavioral science research and evolutionary psychology, I explain what makes Dark Triads tick, how to recognize them before they hurt you, and why avoiding them is essential for your well-being. I also share what to look for instead—the Light Triad, people who trust others, believe in human dignity, and leave you feeling warm and uplifted in their presence.

I discuss:

• The core traits of the Dark Triad and how they drive destructive behavior

• Which careers and environments attract dark triads and how to spot the red flags

• How Machiavellianism shows up in politics (on both sides)

• The science of emophilia and why people who fall in love too fast are Dark Triad targets

• How Dark Triads thrive on social media (and the “first-date test” that can save you heartbreak)

• The telltale behaviors that reveal a Dark Triad in work, love, and online

• The defense tactic Dark Triads use when caught in a lie

• What the Light Triad looks like

• Audience Q&A on the connection between happiness and intelligence and how to comfort aging parents

You can take my Dark Triad quiz today to find out where you fall https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/dark-triad-personality-test

We’d love to hear any feedback you have. Please email us at officehours@arthurbrooks.com. And please leave a review on Apple or Spotify. Thanks for listening! 

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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 

• Website: ⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠officehours@arthurbrooks.com⁠⁠

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Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(02:04) What is the Dark Triad personality type?

(06:09) How to take the Dark Triad test

(06:37) Why Dark Triads are more common than you think

(11:03) How to identify Dark Triad types

(15:24) The five things Dark Triads do in the workplace

(20:00) The five traits of Dark Triads in romantic relationships

(28:11) How the Dark Triad shows up in politics and activism

(32:11) Why social media is the perfect place for Dark Triads

(34:34) The nine red flags that reveal a Dark Triad

(37:05) DARVO: The defense Dark Triads use when caught

(38:38) The light triad: What to look for instead

(40:12) What’s the difference between joy and happiness?

(42:35) What’s the connection between intelligence and happiness? 

(44:22) How do I comfort my ailing and aging parents about their imminent death?

(46:30) Wrap up

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Referenced:

• Leadership and Happiness course: https://www.hbs.edu/coursecatalog/1885.html

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• The Dark Triad of personality: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656602005056

• The Prince: https://www.amazon.com/Prince-Niccolo-Machiavelli/dp/1503017826

• Take the Dark Triad Quiz: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/dark-triad-personality-test

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Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠. Production provided by ⁠www.thebluewave.net⁠. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email jordan@penname.co