The Difference Between Chosen and Unchosen Suffering

There is no regular rule that bad things are good for you. Bad experiences don't hurt us as much as we often think they will. To say otherwise is wishful thinking. And i'd be crazy to denight that in some cases, ha, bad experience could make you stronger. There's plenty of unchosen suffering around but it's by no means clear unchosen suffering has the benefits of chosen suffering. I review literature in my book saying that although people often think that bad experiences make them stronger, and i also think it's important to get right.