When coaches bench kids: parent responses

If you're a parent with a kid in youth sports—rec, competitive, or full-blown travel—today's episode will hit home. I sit down with Jonathan Carone, creator of Healthy Sports Parents, for a powerful conversation about what youth sports have become, why burnout is skyrocketing, and how well-meaning parents (including me in the early years) unknowingly make the experience more stressful for their kids.

We break down shocking stats—like why 70% of kids quit sports by age 13, why travel leagues are burning families out, and how overtraining is causing injuries in 9-, 10-, and 11-year-olds. Jonathan brings immense wisdom about the car ride home, sideline behavior, when to step in with coaches, and how to raise confident, resilient athletes without crushing the joy of the game.

Timeline Summary:

[0:00] The surprising reason most kids quit sports by age 13.

[2:14] Larry shares his own evolution from "obnoxious sideline dad" to quiet encourager.

[3:41] Introducing guest Jonathan Carone of Healthy Sports Parents.

[4:10] Why travel sports are wrecking family time and burning kids out.

[4:40] The truth about scholarships and NIL fantasies.

[5:00] How the car ride home can make or break a kid's love for the game.

[6:04] The pressure kids feel once sports stop being fun.

[7:04] Why rec leagues are disappearing—and why that matters.

[8:29] How travel sports exploded over the last 25 years.

[10:25] A realistic look at what travel sports demand from families.

[12:09] Early onset injuries from overscheduling and year-round seasons.

[14:21] Real-life stories of parents whose kids never get a break.

[16:06] Why travel sports can destroy family dinners and family culture.

[17:05] The fear-based mindset driving parents to overcommit.

[19:47] The burnout cycle and why most kids stop enjoying the sport.

[20:05] The psychology behind parents who push too hard.

[21:13] Self-love vs. self-glory and how they influence parenting.

[22:29] The myth of scholarships and how rare they really are.

[23:24] How unhealthy pressure destroys a child's love for physical activity.

[24:13] Why running became punishment for our generation.

[26:33] Protecting kids' mental health in the digital age with Bark.

[31:43] What parents should be doing on the sidelines.

[34:36] The car ride home: three things you should ALWAYS say.

[35:42] When and how to give feedback the right way.

[38:44] Using a 5-to-1 positivity ratio to help kids grow.

[41:22] Being an "obnoxious encourager."

[43:33] The power of tone and why it changes everything.

[45:04] When coaches only play to win—and your kid never gets in.

[47:04] Teaching kids to advocate for themselves, age by age.

[49:20] How ADHD affects emotional regulation in sports.

[53:14] The long-tail impact of how we parent through sports.

[54:18] Generational change starts with how we show up today.

Five Key Takeaways

1. Kids quit because the game stops being fun—not because of screens, school, or injuries. Pressure from adults is the biggest culprit.
2. Travel sports demand 6–15 hours per week before adding training or lessons, often at the cost of family dinners and downtime.
3. Overuse injuries are exploding in kids as young as 9 due to year-round seasons and lack of rest.
4. Parents often push due to fear, self-validation, or scholarship fantasies, even though less than 5% of athletes ever receive any scholarship money.
5. The car ride home should NEVER be coaching time. The only things kids need to hear are: "I loved watching you play," "Where do you want to eat?" and "What do you want to listen to?"

Links & Resources

• Bark Monitoring for Families: https://thedadedge.com/bark

• Healthy Sports Parents (Jonathan Carone): https://healthysportsparents.com

• Healthy Sports Parents on Social: https://www.instagram.com/healthysportsparents/

• Episode Show Notes: https://thedadedge.com/1413

Closing Remark

If this episode gave you a new perspective on supporting your youth athlete, take a moment to rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. Your support helps us reach more dads who want to lead with intention—on the sidelines and at home.