Why People Leave Early: Experience Efficiency

Have you ever found yourself halfway through a concert, dinner party, or even a family gathering and thought, “OK, I’m ready to go now,” even though you’re having a good time? You’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean you’re antisocial or ungrateful. In this episode, host Gabe Howard sits down with Jodi Wellman, a positive psychology expert and TEDx speaker, to unpack the surprising psychology behind wanting to leave events early.
Together, they explore why both introverts and extroverts can feel this way, introducing concepts like “experience efficiency” and “memory optimization.” Learn how our brains process peak moments, why leaving on a high note can actually enhance our memories, and why you don’t have to “get your money’s worth” by staying until the very end.

Key takeaways:

• Find out why some people feel “full” on fun faster and don’t need to stay until the end to enjoy an event.
• Reframe early exits as a smart way to manage energy, time, and joy—without guilt.
• Learn practical language for confidently setting boundaries when you’re ready to go, without shame.
• Discover how even the most outgoing people can feel “peopled out.”

If you’ve ever snuck out of a party, left a holiday dinner before dessert, or wondered why you plan your exit before you even arrive — this episode is for you.

“And yes, there is a purpose to the dinner and the tasting menu that goes all the way to the end. And yes, of course, we rationally know that. And yet, those of us who are experience minimalists are still OK to say, I got my fill. I got the appetizer and I had part of the entree. And admittedly, not many of us are kicking back our chairs and leaving halfway through dinner. But metaphorically, this works. When we know we've had our fill and we feel truly good that, wow, I got the songs I needed and wanted or look, I did most of the hike and I don't have to get to the top. I'm cool to go back. I feel good about myself. That's the thing. Are you having a good time and do you want to end on a high? That is, to me, sound judgment about living a life worth living.” ~Jodi Wellman, MAPP

Our guest, Jodi Wellman, is the founder of Four Thousand Mondays, a speaker, author, and assistant instructor in the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania. Her book, "You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets," made Adam Grant’s Summer Reading List and was a “Top 3 Psychology Book of 2024” by the Next Big Idea Club (curated by Malcolm Gladwell, Susan Cain, Adam Grant, and Dan Pink). Jodi has been featured in The New York Times, Oprah Daily, Fast Company, CNBC, Forbes, Psychology Today, The Los Angeles Times, and more. Jodi’s TEDx talk is called How Death Can Bring You Back to Life; with over 1.3 million views, it is the 14th most-watched TEDx talk released in 2022, out of 15,900!

Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe is also the host of the "Inside Bipolar" podcast with Dr. Nicole Washington.

Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can’t imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com.

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