Joey Chestnut's Record

I want to say here without a shadow of a doubt in my mind, I can say empirically, unequivocally, Joey Chestnut will perish. More than you could even say about other mortal people. There's a chance medical science is coming along so fast. He might discover the fucking umbrella virus thing that just lets humans live forever. But it won't work. If that medicine was invented today, it wouldn't work on Joey Chestnut because of what he's done to his body. This man can eat enough hotdogs to live forever. Why can't you all? Can I tell you what it's giving me, Justin? It's giving me Paul Bettany in a night's tale