Ask Uncut - Do I Tell Him About My Past As a Sex Worker?
Life Uncut
Navigating Past Secrets in Relationships
This chapter explores the challenges of disclosing a past as a sex worker to a partner, highlighting the stigma and personal growth involved. The discussion emphasizes the importance of communication, boundaries, and the timing of such revelations, advocating for self-acceptance over societal judgment. Additionally, ethical dilemmas in relationships, including issues of infidelity and trust, are examined as the speakers share personal anecdotes and insights.
Hey Lifers!
Happy Halloween!! Some of our team are more into it than others and you can come to us for all your budget, last minute Halloween costume needs!
Are you a Halloween person? Laura's kids are super excited and have been counting down the days, while Britt has outed herself as a bit of a grinch.
Vibes for the week:
Keeshia - A Man Called Otto film (on apple TV)
Laura - Jailbreak. Love on the Run on Netflix
Britt - Dessert Little Moons Mochi Balls
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Then we get into your questions!
DO I TELL HIM ABOUT MY PAST AS A SEX WORKER?
When I was 18, I had huge body insecurity and felt like I was unlovable unless I got my boobs done. I also could not find a job, and thought the way to pay for my boobs was to get into escorting. I was very young and naive, and had only had one sexual experience before getting into it, so it was quite unsettling and traumatic. I did it for three months, but couldn’t continue because of my mental health. I ended up going back when I was age 19 and saw a client a handful of times, before deciding I could never go back. I then entered a fairly toxic relationship. When that ended I got therapy because I was in a bad place, and it changed my life. I have now got a great career and finished my degree, and have met my now partner of one year. I am now 24. My question is, should I tell him about my past? Do I need to? If so, how should I do it? Unfortunately I feel like there is still so much stigma around the sex industry. While he is incredible, I have heard him make a comment about a stripper he once slept with, saying she was “just a stripper” as if it meant she was less than. Aside from that, he is so caring, thoughtful and emotionally intelligent. He is very secure and perhaps would struggle to understand what I was going through at 18/19. I really want to be with him forever, and I don’t want anything to risk coming between us, but I feel like he might look at me differently if he knows. I have come so far since I was a scared, insecure 18/19 year old and I don’t want the decisions I made to prevent me from being happy now. Would love for your advice on how I could bring it with him and if it is even worth doing, as it is not like I think about my past everyday! It is only when something triggers it.
MY BOYFRIEND IS MOVING IN WITH A WOMAN
I have been long distance with my partner of 5 years for a little over a year now (he moved for work). He is the most amazing partner and definitely my penguin. In the last 6 months he has made a good female friend at work. I have met her quite a few times. She is lovely and we get along very well. Recently both my partner and his female friend have had a change in living situations and he asked me if I would be comfortable with them becoming roommates. He does everything to try and make me comfortable and he won’t move in with her if I don’t want him to. I trust him and her completely, yet it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe jealousy?? But I trust both of them. Is me feeling weird about it ok or am I being unreasonable and I should just let him move in with one of his only friends he has been able to make (it is so hard for adults to make friends in new cities). Would love to know your thoughts?
CAUGHT BROTHER CHEATING
A few months ago I stumbled across my bro’s profile on a dating app. Profile stated “not looking for anything serious”. We aren’t close - don't have mutual interests, hobbies or compatible personalities, but still see each other at family events etc. Issue is, he has been in a long distance relationship for well over a year. She had returned back overseas less than a week before I saw his profile - it was definitely him, photos were 100% his, the hobbies, interests, age etc were all accurate. My brother is not someone I would have ever considered to be a player or open relationship-er - very conservative. The girlfriend is nice enough - very young, very sweet, very smart. Not someone I could imagine being open. I thought they might’ve split but I hadn’t yet found out. I found out recently he’s going overseas to see her soon -so are definitely together. Idk what to do/think! Help!
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