The Importance of Coherence in Parenting

A lot of these kids that end up in this disorganized category are actually maltreated. Coherent means something that makes sense. Something that you can you can rely on and it puts it in oh okay this is an organized way I get that this person's threatening and that's why my body's stressed out. An example of incoherence would be somebody's very soft and caring but our body is all it's not coherent our body's completely stressed out they don't match. A lot of these parents if you were to ask them on a quiz how to parent they will get all the answers correct they know but then they get triggered or they fall. When you don't already have a good