iain: It was humbling to be suddenly a a patient thatno western medicine had no answers for, but also the stigma that goes along with it as well. I know other doctor patients who didn't go into that place of severe self criticism and ment but im, i just seen how i needded put my mind over matter and push past this. That paradime was my whole, a world view. And i could not. So  it took me a couple of years of just really running into a wall and suffering enough to say, oh, you know, maybe i got to step out of this paratime i and i couldn't even see yond it, right