Back then I didn't feel cared for at all. But now you're realizing that maybe you were cared for. That actually that could be it because it it is like a I felt like yeah, it's like a positive feeling that I was feeling. So even though it was like you were having like memories of hurt with a positive feeling in the present. Right? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.That's crazy to think about. Like I'm just thinking about is it's kind of crazy because I didn't ever really think like that ever. And I think of I just look at stuff like what with black and white, honestly,. With everything that I look at and what