Avoiding rescuer and enabler roles

Rob Smith, LMAC, LASUDC, is a therapist with over 10 years of personal and professional experience. He specializes in helping individuals tap into their inner strengths, generate momentum for change, and live in alignment with their core values. Rob loves spending time with his wife and supporting their kids in their passions and activities.

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Transcript available with the video in the Zion Lab community

Highlights

Rob discusses the complexities of providing support to individuals facing mental health challenges and the burdens that can arise for leaders in church settings. The conversation emphasizes the importance of empathy, boundaries, and community in effective leadership.

00:02:10 – Importance of Mental Health in Leadership
00:03:30 – Balancing Help and Personal Well-being
00:05:00 – Interview Introduction with Rob Smith
00:05:40 – Rob’s Background and Specialization
00:06:30 – Personal Struggles and the Need for Help
00:08:00 – The Journey of Seeking Help
00:10:00 – Community Support in Recovery
00:12:00 – The Importance of Healthy Boundaries
00:14:00 – Empathy in Leadership
00:16:00 – Mourning with Those Who Mourn
00:20:00 – Understanding the Weight of Pain
00:22:00 – The Role of Leaders in Carrying Burdens
00:23:30 – The Challenge of Relating to Others’ Struggles
00:25:00 – Setting Healthy Boundaries as a Leader
00:28:00 – The Complexity of Supporting Others
00:30:00 – The Need for Forgiveness and Compassion
00:32:00 – The Role of Opposition in Growth
00:34:00 – The Importance of Community Resources
00:36:00 – Balancing Individual Needs with Community Support
00:38:00 – The Role of Gratitude in Helping Others
00:40:00 – Delegating Support Within the Church Community
00:42:00 – Reflecting on Systemic Issues in Support

Key Insights

Empathy vs. Problem-Solving: Leaders often feel compelled to solve problems for those they support, but true empathy involves sitting with individuals in their pain rather than trying to immediately alleviate it.

The Weight of Pain: Understanding that pain has a physical and emotional weight can help leaders connect with those they serve. Leaders should be willing to share in that weight without trying to fix it.

Boundaries are Essential: Leaders must establish healthy boundaries to protect their own mental health. This includes recognizing when to step back from situations that may overwhelm them.

Community Support: A strong community can enhance recovery and support. Leaders should encourage individuals to seek help from a broader network rather than relying solely on them.

Forgiveness and Compassion: Leaders need to practice forgiveness towards those who may not show gratitude or who take advantage of their help. This allows leaders to continue serving without resentment.

Opposition in All Things: Recognizing that challenges are a part of life can help leaders understand that they cannot solve every problem. This perspective fosters resilience and growth.

Leadership Applications

Creating Safe Spaces: Leaders can foster environments where individuals feel safe to express their struggles without fear of judgment. This can be achieved by openly discussing difficult emotions and experiences.

Utilizing Resources: Leaders should leverage the strengths of their community by connecting individuals with appropriate resources, such as support groups or other members who have faced similar challenges.

Regular Check-Ins: Leaders should regularly assess their own well-being and that of their fellow leaders. This can help prevent burnout and ensure that they are equipped to support others effectively.

The award-winning Leading Saints Podcast is one of the top independent Latter-day Saints podcasts as part of nonprofit Leading Saints’ mission to help Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. Find Leadership Tools, Courses, and Community for Latter-day Saint leaders in the Zion Lab community. Learn more and listen to any of the past episodes for free at LeadingSaints.org.

Past guests include Emily Belle Freeman, David Butler, Hank Smith, John Bytheway, Reyna and Elena Aburto, Liz Wiseman, Stephen M. R. Covey, Benjamin Hardy, Elder Alvin F. Meredith III, Julie Beck, Brad Wilcox, Jody Moore, Tony Overbay, John H. Groberg, Elaine Dalton, Tad R. Callister, Lynn G. Robbins, J. Devn Cornish, Bonnie Oscarson, Dennis B. Neuenschwander, Kirby Heyborne, Taysom Hill, Coaches Jennifer Rockwood and Brandon Doman, Anthony Sweat, John Hilton III, Barbara Morgan Gardner, Blair Hodges, Whitney Johnson, Ryan Gottfredson, Greg McKeown, Ganel-Lyn Condie, Michael Goodman, Wendy Ulrich, Richard Ostler, and many more in over 800 episodes.

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