Irene's Mommy Is a Daddy. And I'll Never Remember That

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When Irene was three, we put her in daycare for a couple of days a week because my husband does work part time. I'll never forget that she had been the one dropping her off and picking her up and I hadn't been as visible. A little girl said to me: "You can't be Irene's mommy. Irene's mothermy is a daddy" That gives me inspiration to do other stuff and be proud of her.

Women are increasingly supporting our families financially. It can feel empowering to be the sole or primary earner, but many of us feel pressure to be both an ideal worker and an ideal mother. We hear from a woman who supports a stay-at-home husband and three sons.

Then, Alyson Byrne, an expert on status and gender, fills us in about the research on women as financial providers — for example, the more we financially contribute, the better our psychological well-being. (Yay.) She has tips on managing the professional side and the personal side of being the chief breadwinner. And Maureen Hoch, Women at Work’s supervising editor, shares her experience of being her family’s primary earner.

Our HBR reading list:

“Does a Woman’s High-Status Career Hurt Her Marriage? Not If Her Husband Does the Laundry,” by Alyson Byrne and Julian Barling

“Whether a Husband Identifies as a Breadwinner Depends on Whether He Respects His Wife’s Career — Not on How Much She Earns,” by Erin Reid

Get the discussion guide for this episode on our website: hbr.org/podcasts/women-at-work

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Email us: womenatwork@hbr.org

Our theme music is Matt Hill’s “City In Motion,” provided by Audio Network.