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The Wheel of Consent
There's a powerful body of work called the wheel of consent that doctor betty martin is, e the creater of. The idea that we can take pleasure from our lovers bodies and they are allowing us access to their bodies so that we could take pleasure was such a mind blowing concept for many people. So as some one who is the active giver, or the initiator, or the leader, in any given exchange, i really invite you to be focused on your pleasure as well as the other persons. And that also includes your comfort. When you are comfortable and more relaxed, that too is going to be transmitted into the experience thit'you're providing for the other.